Establishing Media Guidelines in Your Home

There are three things I have to carefully consume only in moderation, lest I fall into an accidental overdose: Sloppy kisses from my little boy, anything chocolate, and nostalgia. Save the first two, I am a nostalgia junkie. Vintage toys, dolls, TV shows are all it takes to get my heart fluttering. Don’t even get me started on the Little House on the Prairie books. As a mother, I am all for introducing new memories into my son’s life so he too may have the gift of remembrance one day: Go Diego Go, Elmo and the latest toys crazes are welcome in my home. We gobble up story time with new characters, build things with new building blocks not around in my day, and sing along to new songs with many laughs and tickles. These are all times where I know one day Gio will look back with his kids and talk about silly Grandma singing Noggin's "Clean Up" song to him when he was little. As a mom, this stuff really revs my engine.


As a Chapter Director for the New Jersey Parents Television Council, I am also scared. TV today is not what it was when I was little. Sure, my parents probably said the same thing, the vast majority of programming in the 50’s and 60’s being limited to nightly news programs and game shows, with a scattering of Howdy-Doody and I Love Lucy now and then. I’m sure Daisy’s ‘dukes’ sent their eyebrows skyrocketing from time to time. But today? Ay, yi yi. I would rather have my toddler see Daisy Duke sliding across the hood of the General Lee over any 20-second clip of MTV or other basic cable shows. Don’t even get me started on general programming.


The wildly popular, trendy-cum dime-a-dozen crime shows are all over the television. While many find them compelling, entertaining, and admittedly, some are written well and boast tolerable acting, they are no place for kids. The fact that many of them are on at 8 PM astounds me. Why should my son have to be subjected to a mutilated body at 8:15 PM just as we’re starting on bedtime routines of teeth-brushing and PJ’s? Why does the image of a maggot-infested corpse have to linger in my head while I say The Lord’s Prayer with Gio as I lay him down to sleep? I am frustrated, angry, and sad that all nostalgia on his part has to be limited to just a few hours a week on carefully pre-selected programming we choose. When I got home from school every day at 3:30, I would throw my book bag down and camp out in front of the TV while Smurfs and Little House ran back-to-back before dinner. Today, the five major networks don’t even show cartoons in the afternoon. They are soap operas, talk shows, or reruns of adult shows that are not intended for kids’ eyes or ears. If you can’t afford cable or extended packaging like DirecTV and the like, your kids should not be allowed near the TV without you in the room. You never know what they are going to see.


Our culture is now on the brink of exploding into a new realm of hedonistic intemperance that is threatening the very pulse of the family unit. How are little girls and boys expected to stay innocent and pure when they are bombarded by sexually provocative TV, movies, games and even clothing? And remember this: If you think your kids are exempt from these concerns because the aforementioned is not allowed in your home, think again. Just because you are on top of the parenting game doesn’t mean other parents are. One episode of “Tila Tequila” on MTV can forever change the way your little girls relate to women. I spend a lot of time talking to parents who ask the same question: “How can I make sure my son/daughter doesn’t see certain shows? I can’t be with them all the time.” An excellent question, and I have highlighted a few pointers to help out:

1. Set a daily time limit for TV with your kids. A defined allotment of television viewing eliminates temptation to channel surf.

2. If you have TiVo, make sure the shows you don’t want them to see have the settings set to block them. Contact your provider for more info. TiVo is also a fantastic way to ensure your kids will watch only what you want them to see.

3. Make sure you have seen the entire episode of each and every show your kids like to watch. Even some popular cartoons like SpongeBob have depicted strong sexual undertones that, while may sail over the head of a 4 year old, may trigger curiosity in an older sibling.

4. Communicate with other parents. Find out what the TV and internet rules are in their home. If they don’t have any, have the kids play at your house instead. The same applies with after-school care, such as a nanny or relative. Do the same with child-care centers, after-school programs, and the like.

5. And finally, be in your kids’ shoes. TV started off as a great invention! It has brought much happiness to families and some much-needed relief to busy moms. Don’t regard it as the enemy, thereby making it more appealing to your kids. Rather, show them by enforcing responsible guidelines and intelligent selections can make the viewing safer and more enjoyable for everyone.